[	mood	|	sore	]
[	music	|	Goodies- Petey Pablo	]

I havent updated in soooo long... and i know im slacking on all you guys reading material. Ever since school started everything has gone by so fast and slow at the same time i guess. The first week of school wasnt bad im just very stressed already...i think everyone is. I dont like school and the adjustment. But what happened this week...i started dance classes again and they are fun but im not sure how many more years im going to do it...maybe only one more before high school ends.

HAMMONASET

Last weekend i went camping with church on hammonaset beach. It was this whole youth gathering that touched us all i think. The band was really good tooo and i met one of them but he thought i was overbearing..o wells. We had a little concert thing every night and a fire and i saw a lot of kids from camp. So yea me and emilie and christy had fun without showering the whole weekend. ;)

The first football game was this weekend but i had to babysit so i was pisssedd.  And we lost:( Saturday was supposed to be the JV game but all the rain came down so it was cancelled. In the words of Tina " Nothing can hold us down" the rain did. But her and kirby and Josh came over and we hung out for the whole day and tina chased the turkeys in my back yard. I swear to god the four of us live together because we were making meals and watching thomas like we had a family. Then it was time to go to the mixer..yes we went.. and it took like an hour to pick out kirby's outfit and josh and beans were quizzing him on his state capitals. ahaha i love them. It was sooo nice to see everyone at the dance but it was so hot in there and i felt like i was going to faint. But ya it was grand and tina tried out all her new moves. i missed my brookie she wasnt there....Ive got a stupid chuch meeting tonight about confirmation and i have to pick out a name soon...i think im going to chose Diana.

lalalalalala. School tomorrow.....

[	mood	|	giddy	]
[	music	|	nada	]

Orientation today :) It was boring but i saw everyone which was really nice i missed them so much. Oh and cheer tryouts sucked so bad ive never been more nervous. I screwed up the whole cheer but the dance was ok and so were my jumps, but im really disapointed in myself. But only 1 soph made it so im not alone :( But yea so orientation was ok...we had to listen to sr.patty, sr. mary and mr. brickey talk and talk and talk...about stupid things like uniforms and behavior. Being in school today was like i had never left for the summer. It was really good to laugh again with the girls. We got our pictures taken and brooke's pic took so long cuz she couldnt get her head right and we went and got our books...they didnt have like more than half the books we needed and we got those manilla folder things. It ended early so i went home with steve and brooke and steve is real nice yay. The last weekend of summer soon oo no im not ready for this..haddam neck fair tonight possibly with beans and ive never gone so yea im going to be a maniac on those rides. X scrimmage tomorrow hells ya!!

X gon give it to ya! hehe tina bina

[	mood	|	sleepy	]
[	music	|	My place- Nelly & jaheim	]

These last few days have been busy. Cheerleading has been fun...theres a lot of new freshmen and its weird knowing that they will be in the school. We learned a dance and cheer and jumps and tomorrow is the tryouts :) im nervous but i dont think it will be that hard on me if i dont make it. Its just so damn hot in that gym....Got my schedule finally:

A- Religion 2 (days 3,4,5,6,7)  Mrs Malafronte

A- Phys. Ed 2 (days 1,2) Mrs. Sklar

B- CP biology 2 - Mrs. Ceberek

C- Study Hall

D- H French 3- Mrs. Williamson

E- CP Geometry- Mr. Harley

FG- Micro Office 1- Semester 1

        CP Civics- Mrs. Corigliano       - Semester 2

H- Second Lunch

IJ- CP English 2- Mr. McKenna

lemme know if you have any of these :) So what else is going on lol well yesterday i got my hairs cut and i got a little swoopy bang which is cute i think :/ Brooke was supposed to come over last night and i miss her sooo much but my dad was being gay and he wants me to rest for cheerleading. Tonight im going to Stacia's with the girls!!

[	mood	|	relaxed	]
[	music	|	i wanna dance with somebody- whitney houston	]

Soooo bored today. It seems like i can not occupy myself. But heres what happened last night...we went to the American Idol concert and out to dinner before at a place called Mayor Mke's in Hartford. I got a steak which was a lil burnt but it was still good and omgosh i was so hungry. So then we got to the concert and all of the idols sung by themselves and then they sung in groups and it was better than i thought it was going to be. I got a t-shirt afterwards and it was a good night but i was tired afterwards. The power went out on our street today so i watched a dvd on  the laptop- the butterfly effect. Ummmm lalalala. Im in a really bad mood today and i dont know why. What is the point of football camp omgoddd. hehe. But i got a church meeting later because we are going to hammonasset the first weekend after school starts. Its this big youth convention thingy and it sounds gay but its fun and we stay at the campground all weekend and we are going to be there on Sep. 11 which makes me feel better because being at church on that day makes me feel safer. dindin....

[	mood	|	impressed	]
[	music	|	R.Kelly	]

Im impressed with myself...i sorta made a new layout for my lj and im so retarded with computers that im all happy now! But ya so nothing is really going on. I went to 6 flags yesterday at 4 so i wasnt there for very long and didnt feel too good so i didnt ride on many of the rides. Dad played hit the mole like a gazillion times and won like a gazillion stuffed animals for us. But i had to go home and take a shower after that place it makes me feel stickyy. Tonight is the american idol concert lol my sis got tickets and she wants me to go so im going and it shouldnt be too bad- theres nothing else to do anyways. Tina called and she had a rough day at volleyball..a lot of the girls were throwing up and things like that...my poor girl. Nothng else is really happening i love this boring life i lead...more later.

STILL HAVENT GOT MY SCHEDULE!!!!!! :(

[	mood	|	gloomy	]
[	music	|	nottting	]

Its been wonderful but once again it has to end when i dont want it to. GRR...So yesterday i went shopping with my mom which felt good because i havent been shopping in a looooooooong time because either I or she doesnt have any money :( But I got a backpack and sneaks for school and some summer clothes that were on sale for $5...ooo thats hot lol. And then we went out for lunch and ahh it was a nice day. Today i woke up at an ungodly hour and me and Josh went to the beach and then to the mall...we got school supplies haha and i got some school shoes that were $10, ya im a bargain shopper now and a tank top and jeans . Now i have an X football sweatshirt to go to the games in haha im such a loser...but yaya supporting your school- or the boys school is fun. I didnt want the day to end but then reality hits my happy day. But im still happy-lol-cuz it will probably be a girls weekend for me and tina even though she has volleyball tryouts and shes nervous but she will do fine :) Cheerleading is next week and yea im so nervous and everyone will laugh when i dont make it but im going to try again and keep trying i guess. My only regret is that i wont be able to be with everyone at the games if i doo make it so im not exactly sure if i want to make it or not. But my parents want me to so i gotta satisy them. Im all sad now thinking summer is almost over which is on my mind a lott. Six flags tomorrow with the family - its time to bond ;) Nothing more!

[	mood	|	hungry	]
[	music	|	penny and me	]

-Singing along to feeling alright - making it by under pink moonlight-

Ahh today has been a whole lot of a better day and its getting better because everyone has helped me out so much. Except for the trip to the dump today lol which was smelly.... It seems like everyone has gotten their schedule  except me and thats GRR. And beans told me that we have like 10 books to get for english and im like suddenly snapping into reality that school starts in like 2 weeks. Im not wanting to go back to that place and im sure as hell not ready to be getting up early- it feels as if yesterday i just got out of there to freedom which hasnt been oh so great either. But thats life and we all have to deal. So not much has been going on ive been walking everyday to get myself strong enough for cheerleading which is another thing that makes me nervous but its just the anticipation.  And im over with being grounded on thursday which is YESS even though it feels like i havent been grounded just like away. Really all i want to do is be with my friends :) Josh and Kirby have football camp this weekend and me and TIna are determined to like stay overnight with them and if i know her she will find a way. We will miss them! but yes im hungry so im going to go feast....

[	mood	|	numb	]
[	music	|	nothing right noww	]

I havent updated in while and that is because life has been pretty much chaotic for the past week...and ive learned a lot about myself.

"Come to Jesus he'll hold you in his arms"

Monday i had  this big fight with my mom because we havent been getting along very well and everything i want to do has seemed to be a struggle to her. But eventually Josh came over and we took a walk down to the lake and went swimming but it was tooo cold so then we decided to start on our walk home which takes like 45 minutes anyways...but i liked it because we talked about life and college and even though its all scary it was comforting to be talking together like we were.

Tuesday i went to a Hanson concert...yes Hanson and it was  reallly fun lol. I'm not really a fan but i was up dancing all night with em and christy and after that i was exhausted...It was at the oakdale so there wasnt a lot of people but it was really noisy and hanson came out for an encore :)

"If only i had the guts to feel this way- if only you'd look at me and want to stay"

Thursday there was another huge fight and i threw my cell phone and it all was just a big mess. Honestly at that time i didnt know how much i could take anymore and i feel so alone in everything that it just got to me and i let it all out. WHOO. But that was my mom's birthday and i made the day horrible for her which i didnt mean to do i just have so much built up inside of me. But despite that we went to Pennsylvannia anyways and it was 6 hours with them mad at me and i cried the whole way....i didnt want to be homesick but i was and i didnt get the chance to tell people goodbye which made it worse. Its hard to take me places because im so attached to home and there is no cell phone tower where my gramma lives which basically sent me into a panic attack hehe. But i got to grammas and my cousins took my mind off of my problems and we spent the weekend swimming and bowling and going  to the movies which is all you can do down there.

So driving home today wasnt that bad but i knew that when i got home it would be just like it was before. And i know im in trouble for everything that happened but i dont regret it because my parents know now how i feel and how unhappy i am lots of the time...i was so happy during the school year and somehow it just got taken away from me but im going to get it back and i know that i got to see a way out.

"On the way down i almost fell right through- but i held on to you"

[	mood	|	lazy	]
[	music	|	ashlee simpson	]

ok so heres a recap of the weekend :)

Friday

I just basically babysat on friday night lol.

Saturday

On saturday i woke up and went straight to Tina's family birthday party @ 1. Phil and Brooke were there and then Kirby came shortly after with 2 dozen roses for Tina...ahhh sooo nice. I met Tina's familia and they thought me and brooke and her looked like sisters and her aunt called me Christina once. We chilled in the pool and jacuzzi for most of the afternoon and i attempted to dive a few times and looked like a frog cuz im scared to dive- yes that is true but i have gotten better. We couldnt get phil to go into the pool but eventually he stuck his legs in the the jacuzz yay! Then we got ready for dinner and had so much food- her family thinks im so sheltered because i was so suprised there was so much food and Tina opened her presents- some dvds from the kittens and a palm tree picture from her brother. Then we watched Aladin and phil and kirby were singing along to it. We played twister which got very sexual on kirby's behalf and then watched peter pan and me brooke and phil snuggled. And then brooke and phil left so it was just the 3 of us and we watched tarzan. Yes we love disney movies...then kirbs left and it was me and tina and i slept over and the whole night we talked on the phone to buddy phil josh and kirbs. yayyyayayy...

Sunday

Sunday i went home and did basically nothing lol i love my boring life

Today im going to see josh because he came  home from Virginia last night!! YAAA

[	mood	|	cheerful	]
[	music	|	family business- Kanye West	]

Happy Birthday Christina!!!!!

Today was my beautiful's birthday yayy! And i hope she had a great day...:) Today was fun cuz i got to sleep in late for once in like 2 weeks then i went to the mall to get Tina a birthday present and some razor cartridges at CVS. Then it was off to Outback Steakhouse with Tina and her mom....we did a lot of eating. Coconut shrimp, blooming onion, salad, filet mignon, rack of ribs, potatoes OMG. We could barely walk out of the restauraunt and i had such a bad stomach ache. But anywho then we went to Lowe's and Home Depot to pick out some of those paint things cuz tina is painting her room over and we picked put lots of shades of pinks and blues and tina's pompom thong broke. Then we went to the movies with Kirby and saw Harold and Kumar..haha. And tina wanted to spiderman 2 poster but they gave it away to another man instead which was a big NONO. We all were acting crazzy. Josh hasnt really called from Virginia and i know he is busy but that still worries me and its not a comforting thing to think about when you fall asleep at night. Im tired goodnight <3

this is for brooke :)

We have had soo many good times brooke and you are the bestest! I cant wait for Sqeeven to come home so i can meet him-finally- But yes we will be friends forever and our love grows over time hehe. I cant be your neighbor anymore and that makes me sad all the time but you can move to me or live in my house either way. You mean so much to me and i know im stupid at times haha but you keep me in line. I dont know how long you want this to be so im going to keep typing lol. I gotta relive the old times..starting from when we were little kids and us playing together and going to little acorns we would cry at the window for our moms cuz they neglected us. Then we got older and we played butterfingers in the basement and that day my dad took pictures of us and we were mad at him i dont remember why. And the time i fell down your back hill and i made you do it too cuz i was embarrased. The quebec trip and how we both cried on josh like every day and ahhh i just squirted in my pants and the mice will get on thomas!! haha riding in the car with joe and almost dying and then your mom giving us the talk. I love all our good times and there will be so many more. Me, you, and tina have gotten so close and we are bad girls..well not really...well i dont know...haha remember GUNNIT and da MIZZZ oomgomgomgomg im having too much fun with this but i love you girl always know that

---->laur

[	mood	|	sleepy	]
[	music	|	the beautiful ones- Mariah Carey & Prince	]

My baby left for VA today!!! Im all sad and stuff but this week should be fun anyways. Lake Compounce today was okay and i dont know why i wasnt in the best of moods it seemed like everyone- i was with family friends- was annoying me the whole time i was there...so i spent most of the day with my mom walking around and eating lots :) I saw olivia there with heather and tyler too! but i was on this train thing so i couldnt catch up with them . It was too cold for me to go into the gross waterpark so i didnt haha. Then it thundered and lightning came so me and my mom left but it was a pretty ok day....Nothing else is really going on except that i am bored outta my mind right now 

......And i wonder when i sing along with you
If everything could be this real forever
If anything could be this good again..........

[	mood	|	sad	]
[	music	|	nothingg	]

Today has been a sadd dayy. I woke up early this morning to go to the lake with emilie and my cousins and it was nice and i "sunbathed". Then we came back to the house and me and em watched As the World Turns and Guiding Light our two soaps. She was supposed to go to Lake Compounce with me tomorrow but can't :(  I went over josh's to say goodbye because he is going to Virginia tomorrow really early in the morning. We played cards and I won and i helped him pack some outfits for the trip and fold his laundry. And we watched the outback jack season finale haha. Im going to miss him sooooo much and im sad even though he hasnt left yet....im kind of worried and unsure about whats going to happen down in VA but i can try to forget about that as much as possible...i have damn good trust

Countdown

Tina's Birthday: 2 days

Josh leaves for VA: less than 24 hours

Brooke's Birthday: like 9 days ago

Mikey C's birthday: like 4 days ago

hahahahahaha

[	mood	|	hopeful	]
[	music	|	Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson	]

Ahhhhh!!!its been ever so frustrating... Today i went to get my cell activated and i didnt know all you had to do was take the SIM card out of the back of my old one and put it into the new one so it was basically a trip for nothinggg and i can be a dummy. And then like 15 minutes after i got it i blocked it and we have to go buy a new card but my mom is kinda fed up with this so i dont know when thats all happening. But i gotta stop getting mad over little things because thats not how i want to be anymore. Tomorrow im spending time with Emilie- I cant wait!! Last night i went over Josh's and it was really nice and comforting cuz it was the first time in like a week we weren't fighting and we fight over the most stupidest things now that i get mad at- cuz well i get mad a lot lately :( i really gotta try to work on that and stop being so sensitive..its a harsh world out there haha. For the first time in a really long time i have been able to see the people who mean the world to me and how much i would die inside if i ever lost them. They are my inner strength as Tina would sayy :) Ive kind of changed since we moved and i dont know why its only a new house but i realllllly hope it can be a good change and not turn into a bad one. This sounds so gayy but maybe things will be better when school starts...ok i didnt just type that.

[	mood	|	calm	]
[	music	|	I Like That- i forgot who sings it;)	]

Its               not   always  rainbows    and   butterflies    its       compromise it                               moves                                           us along

Yesterday we picked up Tina to go to Mikey c's birthday and i got him a card with a hairy stripper on it which he will love:) It was so much fun even though i got chocolate all over my butt from the car ride FLIPS. Tina had to wipe it off me with clorox wipes.  The moon bounce deflated a few times and i got beat up inside that thing so many times. We watched videos of mike when he was a little baby tooo. He was soo adorable and he liked to bang into things....But then the girls had to go home and the boys slept over...i think i have back problems now from last night and especially when Buddy cracked my back but thats ok he was trying to help :)

Nothing else is going on too much- I got my new cell phone yesterday and we have to go activate it tomorrow...i hope i dont have to get a new number because that would stress me out haaaa. Its a motorola so im excited because my other one would not work for shit. Today my dad is on a warpath and he is fighting with my mom about money once again but i think it is all cooling down now...i def dont want to get in the middle of that.

<3

[	mood	|	bouncy	]
[	music	|	Lean Back	]

Happy Birthday Mike!!!

Today was a goood day...slept over Tina's w/ Brooke and it was a girls night to remember. We decided to go skinny dipping even though her dad was watching tv and he could see through the window...I was still running around naked :) We watched Titanic and me and Brooke named Tina's nail polish remover fluffums because its fluffy and stinky.And i wrote the girls love letters because i love them.  Then the mall today in the mercedes...lean back haha... Me and Tina were trying to convince her mom to get us tickets to the Usher concert but it didnt work she was afraid we would get hurt. So i didnt get anything but thongs and a washcloth from the the disney store at the mall haha and B got one tooooo. Tomorrow is Mikey C's birthday partyy-moonwalk yes!!! Shower is needed i feel all grimy...

<3

[	mood	|	frustrated	]
[	music	|	whatever is on tv	]

Ahhh so much has happened and i finally have my computer back! i'll try to remember everything - good and bad-

Moving Day w/ Tina.Kirby.Josh.

Whoever said moving can't be fun was definitely wrong. So I woke kirby up at like 8 in the morning to come move with us- daddy was paying him so he got ready fast- but then me and him had fun together and had bonding talks. We took down the mystic seaport mural in my new room. Then i went to go pick up Tina and we went back to the old house to clean out the spice cabinet- good times. We were on some kind of sugar high and were bouncing around listening to Bump Bump Bump and the movers were singing with us. Then Tina was teaching me how to dance in what was my dining room and the kid who was about 17 caught us trying to do moves from Save the Last Dance.....ahhhaha. So then it was the 3 of us until Josh came and i ended up breaking down and crying with kirby and it was just emotional..... and  then we all went out to get pizza and plastic silverware to eat with. I dunno how i would have made it through that day without them :) Josh came over the next day to help me hang all my posters!

Ryan's Birthday.

So Sunday was Ry's birthday and it was great- I hope he had a good day. We all had a big football game and tackling is mighty fun. Then me and Tina were cheerleaders for Kirby & Josh in their basketball game against an old man. And Brooke smeared cake all over the boys and i got chocolate mousse in my hair. Then we all went in the pool and the boys were dunking us....we went on buddy's boat before we left and we were all jumping off of it. Then this friend of Ryan's was talking to me and kunkel about virginity ;) he was funny....then josh got me mcdonalds on the way home....

then that week i remember getting contacts :) It took me a while to adjust to the new house...found out my cell doesnt work there and im off to find a better one.

Olivia.Stacia. Me.

I slept over Liv's later that week and it was so good to see her and Stac. Then i met some of her friends Scott and kenny and we hang out and watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The three of us stayed up and talked to the guys- well Scott- on the phone when they left. Stacia got a job i am so proud of her!!

Just me & Joshua.

So then i went over josh's and we had to go to a family  friends party with an irish band hehe. But it was okay and i liked to see what it was like to be part of his family. We basically just had a movie night and then his mom caught us sleeping on the floor and she got mad cuz she thought we was more than sleeping haha.

Shopping with emilie.

Yesterday i went shopping with emilie because it is her senior pictures today!! So we got matching shirts haa and we did just girlie things. I found out its going to cost me $300 to upgrade my phone and my dad wont help me out so im stuck for a while. Then we went out to lunch with her gramma- shes a funny lady...i saw my cousin but i was too scared to say hi and emmy thinks he is hot.

thats it since we moved and its been quite an adventure and somehow i dont think im the same person i used to be. I hope i can find who i used to be soon- i seem so angry with everything and very confused a lot of the time. Nothing seems easy anymore...Time with Tiner tomorrow i need it.

[	mood	|	blah	]
[	music	|	Nothing im blahh	]

I need to vent desperately- its been a rough day...its not even like something terrible happened it just seems like i cant stop being tired and that im all blahhhhhhhh. And I am always hungry -hehe- But i heard that there was some stuff that happened with my friends at 6 flags and im worried about them!! I hope everything is fine but it probably is. And today i made a new friend...well actually hes an old friend but i love him haha Alex.  YAYY Time to eat raviolis and salad- i needed this therapy session.